John Wiley & Sons New For Complete and Utter Fucking Morons Reference Series
The New Jersey based publishing giant John Wiley & Sons known to some for their widely popular For Dummies educational series has confirmed today that they will be releasing another line of publications similar to the familiar yellow-covered books. Hinged upon the success of its predecessor, the new series to be titled For Complete and Utter Fucking Morons, or CUFMs for short, will focus on delivering knowledge at an even-more comprehensible level than the currently-available For Dummies references.
Deborah Wiley, senior vice president and head of corporate communications, spoke on the subject, “Due to the overwhelming enthusiasm the public has shown for our Dummies guides, we have made it our objective to reach an even broader audience with our new series. With literacy and education on a continual decline along with the rise of the ‘YouTube’ generation, we have decided that in order to stay competitive as a publishing company our reference books need to be more lucid and easily-comprehensible than ever before. It is an increasing concern that as this generation grows older and becomes our potential customers, the 6th grade reading level of our For Dummies series may be completely beyond their reading capacity.”
The new series will emphasize the dumbing down of material contained in the current Dummies series and in some cases may not contain words at all. Detailing further, Ms. Wiley addressed, “We like to use pictures and diagrams as much as possible to minimize the amount of reading that is required to utilize our books. In situations where we have to use linguistics to describe a task we will follow a strict proofreading procedure that ensures there is no proper use of grammar or correct spelling anywhere in these guides. Also our senseless use of abbreviations in these guides will save on printing costs and help preserve the environment by using less paper. Thinking ahead, we believe the integration of all these elements will make these guides accessible for the newer, less-literate generations as well as people who are just really stupid in general…” After a pause, “which there are many,” she concluded.
Examples of titles that will be released in the near future include:
• Self Portraiture for CUFMs: Compositions that Don’t Make You Look Like a Desperate Whore
• Web Design for CUFMs: If the Background and Text are the Same Color, You Can’t Fucking Read It
Many of the books in the new series serve a dual function as both a reference guide as well as a public service such as:
• Cell Phone Ettiquette for CUFMs: There’s No Need to Scream
• Driving for CUFMs: Get Off the Phone and Get Off the Road
• Parenting for CUFMs: If It’s Too Late to Sterilize Yourself, Read This Guide (Next Time Know Better)
• YouTube Commenting for CUFMs: Shut Up and Kill Yourself
“We’re tremendously excited about this ground-breaking new series, and we’re all really looking forward to its release in the near future. I think a lot of people stand to benefit from these guides” Wiley said.
John Wiley & Sons to Release New Educational Series Following the Success of Their For Dummies Publications
Tuesday, March 24th, 2009John Wiley & Sons New For Complete and Utter Fucking Morons Reference Series
The New Jersey based publishing giant John Wiley & Sons known to some for their widely popular For Dummies educational series has confirmed today that they will be releasing another line of publications similar to the familiar yellow-covered books. Hinged upon the success of its predecessor, the new series to be titled For Complete and Utter Fucking Morons, or CUFMs for short, will focus on delivering knowledge at an even-more comprehensible level than the currently-available For Dummies references.
Deborah Wiley, senior vice president and head of corporate communications, spoke on the subject, “Due to the overwhelming enthusiasm the public has shown for our Dummies guides, we have made it our objective to reach an even broader audience with our new series. With literacy and education on a continual decline along with the rise of the ‘YouTube’ generation, we have decided that in order to stay competitive as a publishing company our reference books need to be more lucid and easily-comprehensible than ever before. It is an increasing concern that as this generation grows older and becomes our potential customers, the 6th grade reading level of our For Dummies series may be completely beyond their reading capacity.”
The new series will emphasize the dumbing down of material contained in the current Dummies series and in some cases may not contain words at all. Detailing further, Ms. Wiley addressed, “We like to use pictures and diagrams as much as possible to minimize the amount of reading that is required to utilize our books. In situations where we have to use linguistics to describe a task we will follow a strict proofreading procedure that ensures there is no proper use of grammar or correct spelling anywhere in these guides. Also our senseless use of abbreviations in these guides will save on printing costs and help preserve the environment by using less paper. Thinking ahead, we believe the integration of all these elements will make these guides accessible for the newer, less-literate generations as well as people who are just really stupid in general…” After a pause, “which there are many,” she concluded.
Examples of titles that will be released in the near future include:
Many of the books in the new series serve a dual function as both a reference guide as well as a public service such as:
“We’re tremendously excited about this ground-breaking new series, and we’re all really looking forward to its release in the near future. I think a lot of people stand to benefit from these guides” Wiley said.
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